The Food Commandments

I think that if I ever met God at a party, we would speak about food. We would find this easy common ground, me because I love food and him because he created food.

I am not a religious person, but I would find this to be an interesting conversation.  I would question him about his vision in giving us such varied and complex building blocks. "What were your thoughts behind the structure of an onion?" He would look for some feedback like "What do you think of the cranberry?" I would regal him with stories of how I took chicken to the next level with apple cider and sage.  He would nod in appreciation.

 At the end of my fictitious conversation with God, he bestows to me the secrets of creating great food in the form of "The Food Commandments". We then say our good-byes and mutually express our sincere gratitude for having met each other. I happily leave the party with the ability to make delectable meals out of nothing but the items on sale at the grocery store. Obviously, this is just a dream of mine. 

In the absence of divine intervention, I have developed my own dos and don'ts in the kitchen. These are my Food Commandments. As with the actual biblical Ten Commandments, the first is the most important.

1. Never open a can

2. Season every step of the way

3. Never wash a pot

4. Low and slow is the way to go

5. Buy good cheese

6. Do not depend on dairy

7. Keep your pantry as you would your closet

8. Do not buy produce out of season

9. Vinegar is a cure all

10.  Never forget that texture is as important as taste

As any good Christian might consider the Ten Commandments in their every day life, I consider my Food Commandments every time I enter the kitchen. I admit that I might break these commandments on occasion, usually it’s a Wednesday night when I just want to put some food into my family's stomachs. But as with any true believer I know that I must amend for my sins. Most often my self imposed penance is a session of cooking where I follow the Food Commandments to the letter, and I know I will always be rewarded with a meal that feels like heaven.